"You know the
funniest thing about being in prison guys pretending they wanna get out. I
can't do any more time, Dougy. So if we get jammed up, we're holding court on
the street." - James Coughlin (Jeremy Renner) - The Town
I’m hoping you have never
been to prison. If you have I’m hoping you don’t want to go back and you’re
willing to change to do so. Chances are however if you are reading this that
you have found yourself enslaved into some kind of prison you can’t break free
of.
The easiest example is to
think of is the alcoholic and addict. Most of you can think of functional
alcoholics and addicts. On the surface it doesn’t look like they are doing any
harm. Sometimes they are the ones just committed to being on the go and never
slowing down. Sometimes it’s just blunting out trauma or situations that have
re-written the brain. It could be physical pain or simply not wanting to deal
with life. It works but only for the moment we are in. As Charlie Harper
(Charlie Sheen in two and half men) once said about drinking “It’s only a
temporary solution if you quit drinking”. We all have issues we would rather
not face and we all are into bondage of whatever comforts us and makes us avoid
the bigger issues of life. Sometimes we need to tolerate the pain so that we
can examine where it is coming from and fix it at the root instead of just
managing the symptoms. You refuse to live in a fog anymore then change is
possible.
Some of you are neck deep
in debt for a million different reasons, student loans, credit cards,
mortgages, Bills you couldn’t pay from things you are stuck with that you
didn’t. You can’t afford to get by on what you make in a month. (I am going to
exempt sick and out of work people.) Chances are your money problems are from
you seeking validation from things you can’t afford and don’t need. On the
other side some of you have nearly killed yourself in your careers working for
the same things except it’s paying off for you. Either way it’s when you seek
your meaning from other than ownership.
How much is pursuing and
having the perfect mate important to you? Are you afraid of being alone? If you
are a guy how much do you like pursuing the girl you want? If you are a girl
how much do you love this guy being devoted to you? Do you find that you can’t
live without this feeling? Have you been through partner after partner? Guys
are you Promiscuous proudly knowing how many girls you’ve slept with? Girls are
you more moral and have had serial monogamy? You are so much better than the
guys at least you had a relationship before you did even if you’ve had a number
of boyfriends you won’t disclose. If this is you, no matter what you say you
aren’t pursuing love and commitment. These people are all interchangeable to
you and have been so regularly. Your identity has been caught up in attracting
that partner to live for those orgasms, that cuddle, those date nights out and
you in high esteem from that high social status guy or girl.
What if you are married
and settled down how much of you is obsessed over this family defining you?
Making you happy? That husband can maybe be used in attempt to fill the
previous addiction discussed. What about the little baby you wanted so
desperately? What kind of woman is without a child? It’s a natural desire to
have kids and they are adorable and a great experience. How much pressure
though is on this baby if they are expected to hold your marriage together, or
make you feel great about you; this little cute thing needs you to get by how
needed and special are you or what if this baby is supposed to live the life
you never did and go down that path and do great things. That’s a pretty big
job for a baby who didn’t ask to be born or to validate a human being. Yet so
many babies and ultimately so many lives are led in directions by adults who
view parenthood this way.
It’s easy to notice the
drug and alcohol addicts because everything is so urgent with them and they
have to fix it now or risk death or harm to themselves or others. They aren’t
alone. You are emotionally and spiritually in the same boat they are.
If you took it all away who are you? What if
you didn’t drink and use when you were bored or hurting? What if you weren’t
hiding behind your job or stuff you didn’t need? What if you weren’t tracking
down the perfect partner or making your baby into your clone or your actualized
self. You are more than the roles you play in life.
In AA the saying goes
about asking God to help you remove your addiction you’re helpless over to
change them. You have to admit how much you’re hurting and how much you don’t
know if you can handle the world around you. Once you see it for what it is you
can’t turn back and see anything different. The question is: are you going to
let those things enslave you and define you? Let God heal you and restore you
and appreciate those things as compliments (except drug addiction and consumer
debt) when done in a healthy way and in context and be able to love someone as
they were meant to and enjoy. People claim to want to be free. Just as long as
they don’t have to change and it costs them nothing. Some of you would rather
die than be enslaved again to things that hurt you (mostly good in right
context) and hurts others. I recommend you fight it out and let yourself be
healed and transformed and not enslaved to what a society which thinks you are
disposable dictates you do. For the rest of you, you’ve been warned.
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